Father’s Day 2020 will be unlike most Father’s Days we’ve experienced in recent years. It’s definitely given me a reason to pause and reflect on my own Father while he is a thousand miles away from me.
My dad is unashamedly himself. He has quirky habits – many of which he passed on to me like his love of card playing (thank goodness), and his love for people. I thankfully avoided some others like his love of gas station coffee or his need to re-watch taped baseball games when he already knows the final score. He has a sense of adventure, of grabbing those once-in-a-lifetime experiences, and believing there are always available tickets if you look hard enough. He became an Ironman when he was sixty years old and got his first tattoo shortly after - much to my mother’s chagrin.
But in the midst of all of his characteristics, there is one that sticks out like a gorgeously sore thumb. Ask all of our friends and family and they will tell you – Keith is always giving us books to read. No matter what is going on, he has recently read a book and you need to read it too. You see, he wants to help us help ourselves. He’ll set up the ball on the tee for us, and it’s our job to take the swing. Where some dad’s way of saying “I love you” is “how is your car running?”, my dad’s is “I’ve got a book for you.” By sharing what he is learning, he’s helping us learn too.
“I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren’t trying to teach us. We are formed by little scraps of wisdom.” – Umberto Eco
The past months have been an interesting time for us all, that’s easy to see. We’re learning to adapt to sweeping changes in our lives – some simple in the everyday and other possibly larger transformations for our long-term plans. It’s been unsettling, potentially upsetting, and a lot of us are just pushing forward one day at a time. For me, the thing that has brought me back down to earth has been my dad.
The first weeks of being at home required almost daily calls to him. He quickly and easily brought me back to what was important, kept me centered, and helped me focus on the long term. Of life after uncertainty, and the good that is possible. He is, and has always been, a trusted advisor. I know that my wellbeing is important to him and that he is looking out for me, offering his bits of wisdom and guidance, and helping me see the things I can’t see on my own.
Take a minute to think about the trusted advisors in your own life. This may be your own father or father figure. It could be a mother, aunt, grandparent, child, friend or neighbor that you know is looking out for your wellbeing. You may call them something else – a mentor, a cheerleader, a guide, or a supporter. These are the people to surround yourself with right now. The people that will cheer you on and help you see past today or tomorrow. The people that can see things from a different angle, that lift you up when you’re feeling discouraged or fearful.
At Stonegate, we also stand beside you to be your trusted advisors. Like my own father was my first call during the uncertainty of COVID-19, we want to be your first call when things don’t feel steady so we can provide you unwavering support. And when things feel a bit more “normal”, we want to be there to celebrate with you as well. We don’t enter into our client relationships lightly. We view them as long-term commitments to grow with you and your family and we put your goals or legacy at the forefront of our advice. We’re here with our experience and our encouragement - to check how your car is running and if you’ve got some free time, I’ve got a book for you!
If you or someone close to you is in need of a trusted advisor, please call us at 919-460-4688.